Learning communication for sex, learning communication for life

BSAB: Simultaneous Orgasms

Why Is It Bad?

Remember how last week I said it’s okay to laugh during sex? Please laugh at this myth! Have a nice hard laugh. ;-P

Movies, pornography, erotica, and romantic novels often sell this idea of climaxing together. If those are the only examples of sex that you see, you might have an unrealistic expectation for your own sexual encounters. I’ve previously covered the harm of focusing on orgasm alone – specifically the shame and disappointment that can snowball from those unmatched expectations. Simultaneous orgasm isn’t a common occurrence. Expecting it to happen all the time, or because you’ve found the “right” person, is setting yourself up for failure and just adding to that snowball.

Just as a cherry on top, many people that do have simultaneous orgasm find it’s no better.

What Can You Do Instead?

Some people never have simultaneous orgasms. Among those that do, it’s often done with assistance (read: sex toys) or because of a perfect mix of all the right factors coming together. Instead of focusing on trying to make simultaneous orgasm happen, focus on your own pleasure and your own orgasm.

Learning what you like, how you like it, and what gets you there is key to making sure you get the best sex you can have. Then you need to learn how to talk about it with your partner. Once you can both give and receive pleasure from one another, you can create exactly the kind of sexual experiences you want.

See you next week.


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